Pretending It’s a Lighter at Concerts
Bonus stupid points if you also try to light a cigarette with your phone.
Instagramming Pictures of Every Meal
Food is for eating, guys. Thus, if this is what Martha Stewart’s food pics look like:
Iceberg wedge with homemade Russian dressing. Perfect salad for the onion soup lunch pic. (@MarthaStewart) November 17, 2013
Just how bad do you think yours look?
Using Speakerphone in Public
It’s bad enough, when we have to listen to just one side of your loud, annoying conversation.
Taking a Million Selfies Every Time You Go to the Bathroom
I’m definitely not hating on selfies, but have you no shame?!
Taking Dangerous Selfies
This guy, Kingston, is a free runner. As in, a dangerous professional thing-doer. You are not a problematic professional thing-doer unless you are, in which case, carrying on. So please stop taking selfies that jeopardize your life unless you end up like this woman who died while trying to take a selfie on a ledge.
Downloading Every App
Yeah, oops is right. Welcome to malware city!
Giving It to Your Kid
Is it wise to trust a $600+ piece of technology to a child with this level of coordination?
Using It As A Lens to View the World Around You
I’m glad you got that awesome shot, but maybe next time you should try looking at the concert with your eyes, though, I don’t know, your eyes.
If you’re not a 13-year-old girl, you should probably not be using a ton of emoticons. Words. Words are your friend.
Or worse, throwing it. Just because you only had to pay a Verizon-subsidized $200 for that phone doesn’t mean it’s disposable!
Relying On It For Everything
Yeah, it’s pretty stupid to rely on your smartphone for all communication, directions, information, work and your relationship with your significant other. What will happen when you run out of batteries?