Why trust GreenbotThe Bathroom Tweet
Please Never tweet from a bathroom or inform your Twitter feed that you’re tweeting from a toilet. Let’s keep some things sacred!
The Butt Selfie Tweet
YOUR BUTT SHOULD NOT BE FAMOUS.
The ‘Please Follow Me’ Tweet
Begging people to follow you on Twitter never looks good. Whether you’re asking a specific person or everyone who happens across your feed.
The Real Time Sports Tweet
The worst kind of real-time sports tweet is the one that says GOOOOOOOD! or I CAN NOT BELIEVE THAT HAPPENED! with no context whatsoever. Everyone who knows what you’re talking about is watching the game, not Twitter. Everyone else reading your Twitter feed is totally confused.
The Toilet Minute Tweet
Remember when we used to make fun of Twitterers, they were always live tweeting their lives, as though everyone cared? Some of us on Twitter haven’t recieved the memo. We don’t need a play-by-play of your day!
THE ALL CAPITAL TWEET
It doesn’t matter what you’re saying. You sound like you don’t know how to use the Internet when you say it in all caps.
The Bored Tweet
This is definitely not why people follow you. To hear about how bored you are, how boring your life is.
The Workout Tweet
The only reason anyone tweets about their workout is to brag. They might say it’s about accountability. But we all know you’re just bragging and judging us for not hitting the gym.
The Unnecessarily Gross Tweet
I’m sure this sounded a lot better in Jessica’s head; that’s definitely where it should have stayed.
The Follower Milestone Tweet
The follower milestone tweet lets your followers know you like, and care about them. And points out just how awesomely popular you are. You look like a pretentious jerk, perhaps even if you’ve just hit 50 million followers.
The Shameless Self Promotion Tweet
Everyone self-promotes on Twitter to some extent. Sometimes they overdo it. Promoting your song, book, or science fair project is one thing. It’s another thing to talk about yourself in the third person while doing it.
