The 11 worst types of tweets

Does your tweeting turn off your followers? What followers?

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Credit: Flicker: Christopher

Twitter is an awesome platform for many things, including keeping in touch with friends, getting companies to offer discount codes on their products, and heatedly discussing politics and social issues. But just because Twitter is super casual with its sort-of 140-character limit and its quick rollover time doesn’t mean that you should ignore tweet-iquette, a word I just made up.

For example: it’s bad tweet-iquette to tweet about every single second of your day, especially if your day isn’t particularly interesting (as most people’s days aren’t). It’s also bad tweet-iquette to badmouth your boss, job, or workplace in general. Not sure what you should and shouldn’t tweet about? Here are 11 of the worst types of tweets—avoid these and you’ll probably be okay.

The bathroom tweet

Please: Never tweet from a bathroom or inform your Twitter feed that you’re tweeting from a bathroom. Let’s keep some things sacred!

The butt selfie tweet

YOUR BUTT SHOULD NOT BE FAMOUS.

The ‘please follow me’ tweet

Begging people to follow you on Twitter never looks good, whether you’re asking a specific person or everyone who happens across your feed.

The real-time sports tweet

The worst kind of real-time sports tweet is the one that says “GOOOOOOO!” or “I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENED!” with no context whatsoever. Everyone who knows what you’re talking about is watching the game, not Twitter, and everyone else reading your Twitter feed is completely confused.

The TMI tweet

Remember when we used to make fun of Twitterers because they were always live-tweeting their lives, as though everyone cared? Well some of us on Twitter haven’t gotten the memo. We don’t need a play-by-play of your day!

THE ALL CAPS TWEET

It doesn’t matter what you’re saying, you sound like you don’t know how to use the Internet when you say it in all caps.

The bored tweet

This is definitely why people follow you. To hear about how bored you are, and how boring your life is.

The workout tweet

The only reason anyone tweets about their workout is to brag. They might say it’s about accountability, but we all know that you’re just bragging and judging us for not hitting the gym.

The unnecessarily gross tweet

I’m sure this sounded a lot better in Jessica’s head…and that’s definitely where it should have stayed.

The follower milestone tweet

The follower milestone tweet lets your followers know you, like, totally care about them. And it also oh-so-subtly points out just how awesomely popular you are. In other words, it makes you look like a pretentious jerk—even (or, perhaps, especially) if you’ve just hit 50 million followers.

The shameless self-promotion tweet

Everyone self-promotes on Twitter to some extent. But sometimes you overdo it. It’s one thing to promote your song, book, or science fair project. It’s another thing to talk about yourself in the third-person while you do it.

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